One Year

Today marks my one year Haiti-versary. I have said this many times before but it feels as though I just arrived and I have lived here my entire life. This has been the most formative year of my life. I have made countless friends, I have become part of a family, I have grown and I have changed. This experience so far has totally changed my life. I cannot imagine being another place and I clearly see all that God is doing here. I am often surprised by my comfort level here, and people continually tell me that I act like a Haitian. I can see the many facets of my personality, or the way I was raised that play into me feeling at home here. The love, flexibility and curiosity that I was raised with have helped me to blossom here in ways I never imagined possible and those traits are things God has been preparing in me long before I even existed. I truly feel I was made for Haiti. 

I am not saying that it has all been easy, in fact there are many aspects that have been very hard. I have cried myself to sleep, I have felt alone, I have wished I was in the US and then upon arriving I have wished I was back in Haiti. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions somedays, but God always pulls me through. The majority of my days are filled with happiness, friendship, love, smiles, and selflessness. People here truly amaze me. 

It is interesting when the change in your life is so constant that you don't quite realize the changes that are being made. I have been changed by the Lord every single day and it takes looking back on this past year to really see changes that have been made. It has been an honor and a privilege to allow myself to be changed in this way. I feel like I am a completely different person than I was a year ago. Of course I still have my share of issues, and even some new issues that developed but not a day goes by where I don't see that I have changed for the better. 

It is impossible for me to imagine what my life would be like without Haiti. I love living here and I love the people that have come into my life. It is with such a happy heart that I thank the Lord daily that he plucked me from my path and brought me here. People on teams often ask me if I had always wanted to be a missionary. The short answer, is no I never really wanted to be a missionary. I had never even thought about it or considered it. It wasn't until God wove Haiti so deeply into my heart that I realized this is where He wanted me. Even then it wasn't about being a missionary for me, it was about Haiti and the people, and I pray it always will be. It has been about experiencing a comfortable love amidst chaos. It has been about feeling welcomed where I don't fit in. It has been about being embraced despite differences. It has been about overcoming obstacles that only God can jump over. It has been about realizing it takes darkness to be able to see the stars. 

Every corner I turn in Haiti I see the path that God has been providing for me. It is more amazing than I could ever have dreamt up. That is how I know I am on the right path, when I see something that only God could have planned for me. The life that I am living here is so crazy, chaotic, silly, fun, full of love, full of life and full of God. When people find out what I do for a living they are often slightly shocked and say something along the lines of me being a “good person” for what I am doing. The thing that people don't understand is it is zero percent about me being a good person. It is not about “good deeds” or feeling like I am helping someone. It is about this being the path that was created for me. All I can say in response to those people is that it is an absolute honor and privilege to wake up everyday and be able to impact the lives of others in a positive way. I am the lucky one, I am the one who is fortunate. This country and these people have given me more in this one year than I could give back to them in a lifetime. But, God willing, I hope to spend my life and my time serving as many people here as possible. 

Until God calls me elsewhere I hope to wake up every morning and continue to have the privilege to be the hands and feet of Jesus here. I hope to wake everyday to the laughing and playing of children. I hope to always be amazed by the determination of the Haitian people. I hope to deepen relationships that I have been building for over six years now. I hope to continue to blindly follow the Lord to see what He has planned for me. 

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me and prayed for me while I am in Haiti. I am excited to see what this second year will bring for me here at Kids Alive Haiti. I truly would not be here without your prayers and support. The family that God has given me in the states that are always praying, loving and encouraging me is amazing. I am so humbled by the thoughtfulness and kindness of the people supporting this wonderful mission. All the glory be to God.