A country of contrasts.

Haiti is a country of contrasts. We have extreme beauty and extreme poverty. Most people are in desperate need, but most people are also generous far beyond expectation. 

I came to Haiti alone. It was just myself, my three suitcases. I kissed my mom and brother goodbye at the terminal and flew here. People were always caught up on that while I was preparing to leave for Haiti. The idea that I was going alone made people uneasy and confused. Haiti is my place where I came alone and found a family. 

I am someone who is often homesick and often lonely. I have yet to be lonely here 'alone' in my country of contrasts. I found friends with a connection deeper than I could ever expect. I found my children. I found my family. I found my home. 

Sometimes I hate Haiti, its hot. Its sometimes lacking in things to do. Its a lot of work to live here. But each day I just look around me and smile because God has placed me in a place that  only He could have known I would love. He knew I would see the beauty in the contrasts, the beauty in the irony, the beauty in the difference that can be made. 

I am currently caring for nine children in my home. We are going through a transition of house parents here at Kids Alive and I have nine of the smallest girls living with me. One of the smallest ones sleeps in my room. She is scared of the dark and the power goes out at night. After many nights of crying and complaining I found if I hang my hand off my bed and hold her hand while she's in her bed, we are able to make it through the night with her comfortable. 

Isn't this how we all are? We are all  a little uncomfortable, uneasy, scared and just want someone to give us their hand to hold through the fear. This is what I realize that God does for us. On paper living in Haiti after living in America should be very difficult. 

Im not fluent in the language. But God gives me the words. I don't understand a lot of the culture differences. But God helps me laugh through the awkwardness. I am here alone. But God has given me a family that supports, protects, guides and loves me. 

He extends me these hands each day. 

Haiti is a country of contrasts. There is so much to learn. A huge difference to be made. So many kids to love. So many lives to impact. I look to the mountains and know that God has big plans for this country of contrasts and that I get to be part of something here. But I also know that I can only make these changes with God holding my hand.