A love for Haiti
A feeling of total isolation and depression overwhelms me as I leave Haiti. There is a distinct feeling that happens, I think, when we see that we disobeyed God and this disobedience led to pain and heartbreak. I have believed, starting two years ago, that my life's calling was to be in Haiti. I unintentionally fought God, bargained with God and searched for loopholes for what God's plan for me entailed. Had I listened to God entirely when He first spoke, I would not be sitting in a hotel room in Miami (for the second time.. but thats a whole different story) after a missed flight home from Haiti, with a burning understanding that God needs me there. I would not be having visions of Fabiola's embrace, CarlAndy's smile, ChaCha's laugh, Donalson's sarcastic jokes, or the sight of pure joy as Schneidar runs at me flinging himself into my arms. God gave me these kids- and I know now that he also gave me to them.
I feel that I had never quite considered that and maybe it was selfish of me. I had always known that God put these kids in my life because they bring me pure joy, happiness, excitement, adventure and a sense of purpose. But I hadn't considered that God not only gave each and everyone of them to me, but me back to them too. To think of the impact that I have had on these kids and potentially could have on them is so moving to me. To see God using me as his hands and feet in the lives of these people that I love with all of my heart is just so moving. I am so very honored, more than words could describe, to be able to protect, help, educate, console, and love these kids. Enabling me to be his hands and feet is the best gift God has ever given me.
I'm unsure why even on a subconscious level sometimes I drag my feet, so to speak, regarding God's path for me. So much has happened and so much has changed but one thing has remained the same for the past two years- My absolute, undying, all encompassing, never failing LOVE FOR HAITI.
I feel that I had never quite considered that and maybe it was selfish of me. I had always known that God put these kids in my life because they bring me pure joy, happiness, excitement, adventure and a sense of purpose. But I hadn't considered that God not only gave each and everyone of them to me, but me back to them too. To think of the impact that I have had on these kids and potentially could have on them is so moving to me. To see God using me as his hands and feet in the lives of these people that I love with all of my heart is just so moving. I am so very honored, more than words could describe, to be able to protect, help, educate, console, and love these kids. Enabling me to be his hands and feet is the best gift God has ever given me.
I'm unsure why even on a subconscious level sometimes I drag my feet, so to speak, regarding God's path for me. So much has happened and so much has changed but one thing has remained the same for the past two years- My absolute, undying, all encompassing, never failing LOVE FOR HAITI.
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